Anscetors Mandala

June 25, 2013

6.23.2013 ~Joshua Tree

I’ve come to this place deep inside me where it feels like there is thorn or block obstructing the flow of life’s greatest gifts and rewards.  I kept sensing dispar or just wanting to quit….everything.  I’m tired of doing, being active, taking action to move life along for the sake of accomplishment and success.  My committment to my dreams, projects and circles was waning.  Motivation weakening.  Inspiration becoming cynical.

I have everything to be grateful for.  My dome home is upon completion, my drum medicine continues momentum and friends, family and romance  are flourishing…the message I kept hearing was “Let go and allow.  Surrender.  Let go, let go, let go.”  Such an uncomfortable place in my psyche, body and soul.

Mini rituals alleviate  the angst…on with it…..let it go!!!!  Praying, meditating, calling on associates to reveal a message on my behalf led me to this message from the Ancestors.

“And so, the dream came true. What say you NOW Goddess?”

We say our Heart’s Desire, this dream, is nothing more than our ecstatic elation born from imagination. We imagined so much more and thought all we had to do is dream it awake. It’s a bit uncomfortable as the dream continues to reveal itself. Especially uncomfortble in the allowing for revalations.

“This is the growth of our humanity’s journey. What will you do NOW Goddess?”

We give up!


Ancestors Mandala



In this moment, I give up!  I surrender. I let go.  This is what the moment is calling for NOW and from this I am reminded that giving up IS being alive.

To be alive is a birth rite that we all embody.  Embody this rite; show up, be accountable and present. Being present, most of all, is the acknowledgment of being alive.





Quiet Before the Storm

June 17, 2010

Is it the quiet
before the storm?
That has me in
the bliss of calm.
I awake to
the excitement of the day
unlike recent mornings
where getting out of bed
was akin to
swimming through sludge.

Is it the quiet
before the storm?
That beckons me to
question what is
different today.
I drink my first
glass of water
with prayers to gratitude
to Mama, to Papa
for my life here and now.

It is the quiet
before the storm!
I’ll take it
embrace it
and dance with it!
Engulfed in the rapture
of happiness and harmony
not to question
its origin.

It is the quiet
before the storm,
and we will dance
with the winds of change,
and with the rains of blessings,
to the beats and rhythms
of the uninhibited joy
and curiousity of child.

Today I re-began my meditation practice I developed into a daily routine over the past 16 years.  In the last two years, this routine shifted.  My meditations became meditations of movement.  Currently I desire to find my center in stillness again in my time of many new beginnings.  Selling my house, building my business, and building my home.  Making decision, no, CHOICES about money, finances and working  and learning to trust hired professionals of the linear world has been quite a journey.

In my mind’s eye, I see my inner child and I hold her as we are traveling down into a rocky mine shaft.  My stomach pits.  I hold her tight, then my vision shifts to a future and I see me in 10-15 years from now.  A grand parent.  Situating myself with my daughters to be available to them as they become parents.  HUH!  Then my body feels creation and the snake rises.  Elation! Ecstasy!  This is YES.  I feel a deep intimacy around my arms as if someone is hugging me.  “Remember this is your YES!”  Ahhh…just as I embrace my little girl, holding her close and acknowledging her safety and security.  Loving her. Loving her.
This is Yes.

I step into this present moment and begin the day with my daughters;they getting for school, me sharing my insight maybe to hear myself talk.  In the moment of sharing I see the mapping that this is a time that as a Mom, I can step aside just a bit from my children and pursue my dreams.  This is my time to multi task in a different way than I have mastered as a Mom.  Phew!

My daughters.

We are One

April 16, 2010

Fearless Freedom of Ectasy, photograph by Melissa Wiess Steele


In my bliss of love and light,

I see love’s warmth embrace my beloved Brothers and Sisters

As they are moving through their current moment of strife.

I send you my prayers from my breath of life as my words are sent and carried

in this breathless moment of an exhale,

“Remember this is just a moment in time that will move and pass and become just a moment in time.  Embrace it as ectasy embraces the lover’s and allow the fearless freedom to remove your fear.”

This fills our fields with All That is Good and the knowing that you are here for me and I for you.

We are One.

I was inspired to write this at the end of  a full day:  Dropped my girls off at school, drove in minimal traffic, worked on my laptop at the coffe shop, got my hair done, had a session with my coach, picked up my daughters from school and came home.   Pretty simple yet full.

In the news there was an earthquake in Tibet and volcanos irrupting in Iceland.  It’s also tax day and some folks are having “tea parties” rallying for unfair taxation.  Most significantly, a friend in our community has been hospitalized. 

This poem is my expression of Gratitude for a full and simple day.