Anscetors Mandala

June 25, 2013

6.23.2013 ~Joshua Tree

I’ve come to this place deep inside me where it feels like there is thorn or block obstructing the flow of life’s greatest gifts and rewards.  I kept sensing dispar or just wanting to quit….everything.  I’m tired of doing, being active, taking action to move life along for the sake of accomplishment and success.  My committment to my dreams, projects and circles was waning.  Motivation weakening.  Inspiration becoming cynical.

I have everything to be grateful for.  My dome home is upon completion, my drum medicine continues momentum and friends, family and romance  are flourishing…the message I kept hearing was “Let go and allow.  Surrender.  Let go, let go, let go.”  Such an uncomfortable place in my psyche, body and soul.

Mini rituals alleviate  the angst…on with it…..let it go!!!!  Praying, meditating, calling on associates to reveal a message on my behalf led me to this message from the Ancestors.

“And so, the dream came true. What say you NOW Goddess?”

We say our Heart’s Desire, this dream, is nothing more than our ecstatic elation born from imagination. We imagined so much more and thought all we had to do is dream it awake. It’s a bit uncomfortable as the dream continues to reveal itself. Especially uncomfortble in the allowing for revalations.

“This is the growth of our humanity’s journey. What will you do NOW Goddess?”

We give up!

 

Ancestors Mandala

 

 

In this moment, I give up!  I surrender. I let go.  This is what the moment is calling for NOW and from this I am reminded that giving up IS being alive.

To be alive is a birth rite that we all embody.  Embody this rite; show up, be accountable and present. Being present, most of all, is the acknowledgment of being alive.

WE GIVE UP AND WE ARE ALIVE!!

 

 

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Birthing it easy

October 15, 2012

Birthing  Easy
October 14, 2012
As we approach and enter this time in humanities evolution, the cosmos and prophecies of potent spiritual cultures say that we are stepping into our fullest potential of who we are to become. All that we aspire to be and want to bring to our children, our communities and the world is happening now. This is the time when what no longer serves us must be let go. For if not, our true essence of who we are that is emerging with great force to LIVE, will emerge with more discomfort.

Sometimes I think I may have taken on more than I can handle and get tired of being part of the “strong and inspiring” dream club. Doing life my way and out of the box only to follow my heart’s desires and Spirits calling ***breathe*** is the only way I continue to find the peace within.

How do we find the endurance that called us to the dream we are meant to meet?

Let us make it easy on ourselves. Do our work to LET IT GO. Walk into nature and appreciate the beauty of life. Seek support from someone who may simply hold your head on their shoulder and let you cry. Light a candle and take a bath. Do something wonderful for ourselves!!!
Seek the silence between the beats and pray, meditate, walk and listen for the stillness.

Peace Within~18" elk hide, cedar hoop, sterling silver, abolone shell

Peace Within~18″ elk hide, cedar hoop, sterling silver, abalone shell

This is the Peace that is born from letting go.

i got scared

July 13, 2012

July 11, 2012

i got scared

i got so scared

working numbers

digits

i got so scared

cause it wasn’t adding

up

i  got so scared

about it being

enough

i got so scared

i cried out for

help

i got so scared

i heard “pull yourself

together”

i  got so scared

and remembered to

pray

I got so scared

even though it’s all a

lie

Transition or Evolution?

January 2, 2011

January 1, 2011
Being on sabbatical and with all the recent holidays, this year I found little resonance to the typical activities and celebrations.  I relied on my muscle testing to guide me to be ok with just staying home with my kitties, curling up in a warm bed and watching a good movie. When I’m done with the movies, sometimes I just lie in bed allowing my mind to quiet and emotions to do whatever they do all with no judgement only allowance.

I fall asleep and wake up rested and bright.

One thing did occur to me in those moments of allowing. It seems that I have been in transition for seven years now. Growth and evolution… the journey….is it all one big giant transition?

Happy Solstice and as the world at large celebrates a New Year in Gregorian timing, I to will jump on the wagon for a ride in celebration for happiness, harmony, prosperity and Love.  From what I’ve been hearing it’s a ride into a New World of Peace and Coming Together.

Rock painting evolution and prophecy by Bear Rock Curing Magician, October 2010

Hopi pigments on Granite Rock

Hopi pigments were used for this painting which is located in Joshua Tree.  A desert tortoise made her presence as I sat in contemplation after I finished the painting.  The symbols represent my personal yet universal perspective and journey of this time in our evolution.

Quiet Before the Storm

June 17, 2010

Is it the quiet
before the storm?
That has me in
the bliss of calm.
I awake to
the excitement of the day
unlike recent mornings
where getting out of bed
was akin to
swimming through sludge.

Is it the quiet
before the storm?
That beckons me to
question what is
different today.
I drink my first
glass of water
with prayers to gratitude
to Mama, to Papa
for my life here and now.

It is the quiet
before the storm!
I’ll take it
embrace it
and dance with it!
Engulfed in the rapture
of happiness and harmony
not to question
its origin.

It is the quiet
before the storm,
and we will dance
with the winds of change,
and with the rains of blessings,
to the beats and rhythms
of the uninhibited joy
and curiousity of child.

Today I re-began my meditation practice I developed into a daily routine over the past 16 years.  In the last two years, this routine shifted.  My meditations became meditations of movement.  Currently I desire to find my center in stillness again in my time of many new beginnings.  Selling my house, building my business, and building my home.  Making decision, no, CHOICES about money, finances and working  and learning to trust hired professionals of the linear world has been quite a journey.

In my mind’s eye, I see my inner child and I hold her as we are traveling down into a rocky mine shaft.  My stomach pits.  I hold her tight, then my vision shifts to a future and I see me in 10-15 years from now.  A grand parent.  Situating myself with my daughters to be available to them as they become parents.  HUH!  Then my body feels creation and the snake rises.  Elation! Ecstasy!  This is YES.  I feel a deep intimacy around my arms as if someone is hugging me.  “Remember this is your YES!”  Ahhh…just as I embrace my little girl, holding her close and acknowledging her safety and security.  Loving her. Loving her.
This is Yes.

I step into this present moment and begin the day with my daughters;they getting for school, me sharing my insight maybe to hear myself talk.  In the moment of sharing I see the mapping that this is a time that as a Mom, I can step aside just a bit from my children and pursue my dreams.  This is my time to multi task in a different way than I have mastered as a Mom.  Phew!

My daughters.