i got scared

July 13, 2012

July 11, 2012

i got scared

i got so scared

working numbers

digits

i got so scared

cause it wasn’t adding

up

i  got so scared

about it being

enough

i got so scared

i cried out for

help

i got so scared

i heard “pull yourself

together”

i  got so scared

and remembered to

pray

I got so scared

even though it’s all a

lie

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Drum Medicine

May 26, 2012

Maria Theresa in reverance to the Cedar for her drum hoop

I recently traveled to Mexico to sit, journey and remember my true potential.  In the months preceding, fear had taken me and thrown me into submission….a place where I cried out for help to never return.  While in Tequisquiaspan, Traditional Plant Medicine carrier,  Maria Theresa Venezuela, became my guide and guardian as I embarked on a journey to clear a deep seeded fear that has plagued me and others from fully becoming our authentic selves and living our birth right as passed down through our lineage.  Ceremonies of Sweat Lodge and Plant Medicine gave way to profound life changing events which occurred within me  and, there is no mistake, within  all of humanity as well.  For I believe, we are each a reflection of our humanity and all of life.

Rosario Sarria and her new birth

“The Drum beat begins and a connection to the beat of Mamma, to  Humanity and, to Pappa create a sound wave vortex that leads us to the sound between the beats and other realms.  Webs are woven and then the web begins to expand into the fifth dimension as it forms into a bridge, a tunneling spiral igniting a momentum to touch the Celestials and bore deep into the Earth at the same time.  The ground shivers and shakes as bolts of lightning shoot up out of the Earth acknowledging the light beam of love we have sent her.  Colors and swirls of light spin in and around our heads as the Spiraling Infinity soars to the Heavens and down into the Earth as our hearts remain to be the point of conception.”

“The time is now  to step into our fullest potential of power in this lifetime.

Come!!! Be  in Ceremony (celebration) of being all that you can be.  Drum Medicine!!

on the steps of the Temple of Sun, Teotihuacan


Do not be fooled.  This BIG THING can look like anything even if it’s as simple as re-learning how to walk on the Earth with a confident stride.  Embrace with Gratitude to be alive.

remembering how to walk again


Sunday July 24, 2011, Poway, 8:30ish am

In the last few weeks, the women in my immediate circle have been experiencing candida symptoms and bacterial infections. Although their cases
are individual, I see in the universal mapping that this discord is not isolated.
While working with a Joshua Tree local Shaman of  a couple of days ago, the messages revealed “lack of self worth, deceit, power control and suicide”.  Coyotes have howled their laughter almost nightly in the last week, “You think it is, but it isn’t.”

I would like to remind us to nurture ourselves, speak to the core truth, have faith and ask for help and support. The work we are doing on behalf of Earth Mother and on behalf of humanity is not going unnoticed.

Last night, after I navigated clear new waters of my role as a mother, I was guided to go to the ocean and listen to Grandmother speak from the whispers of the waves. Upon my arrival, I dipped my toes in the tepid salt water and blessed my crown, heart and belly with sprinkles of the Ocean Waters. “Sit and take in the Beauty.”

On my way back to Poway (where I have been invited to stay during my visits to San Diego), the roads are dark on this country road that is lined with small horse ranch homes and the valley is an official Wildlife Preserve.

I saw a four-legged in the distance which I first thought was a dog or coyote at the edge of a drive, “Probably sniffing the trash cans.” As I approached
cautiously a Doe stepped into the road in front of my car. I stopped. She looked ahead as if she were to go across the street but instead turned back to the driveway. I began to move forward, watching her go back to up the driveway and then her mate appeared. A Buck with a rack of mature antlers.

He came down the drive way and stood in front of my car. My mouth dropped open and I was in awe. After a minute or so, he decided to move back into the trees as I began to drive slowly down the road.  He took on a grand prance and disappeared into the woods.

Elder Sister, Brother Deer thank you for showing us the gentleness that is on the other side of having come through the cycles discord. “Breath.”

We are blessed to be alive!


I See it in My Dreams

October 15, 2010

Earlier this year, I had an experience that showed me my distrust with women in my life and the following journal entry describes my journey of the anguish of broken Sisterhood then on to finding comfort in my relationship with my partner, G.

G is a symbol of my current relationship to the masculine and men in my life.  Trusting, supporting, comforting, honoring.  I am grateful.

I recently attended a gathering of women in New Mexico, Grandmothers Summit organized by the Sister of Honua.  My intention to attend was to connect with women still knowing that there was “something” regarding my experience of broken Sisterhood.  I chose to take proactive yet subtle approach and put all my trust and knowing into simply connecting with women.  No story telling, no healing,no re-hashing, just simply to be in trust and knowing and ALLOW all to be well.  There was nothing for me to do except show up.

On the second evening of the Grandmother’s Summit, I found myself in puddles of tears for absolutely no particular reason.  I awoke the next morning and spontaneously dressed in all black (the dark) and stripped myself of any amulets or jewelry.  It wasn’t until I gazed out onto the mountainside and saw glimpses of faces in nature, like the ones you can imagine in cloud formations, that my inconsolable crying stopped.

The presenters presented; Hillary Raimo~ Spirit Dolls, Mellissa Seaman~ Yoni Speak and Max Dashu~ Supressed History slide show.  In Spirit Dolls I created a new vision of Sisterhood and  recognized the blessed connection with the masculine and male energies in my life.  Yoni Speak took me to the depths of dream time and rejuvenation from a cry fest as well as showed me the power of Breath.  Supressed History showed me thousands and thousands of years of  pictoglyphs, pottery and art depicting Women in their Power and the profoundness of the dark and the light of being a woman.

Then it was time for lunch yet I had a mission: To go to the swimming pond and dunk three times for Body, Heart and Spirit and cleanse the emotional movement I had experienced the night before and earlier that morning.  I dunked, then showered and dressed, again spontaneously, in white and bright colors (the light).

So I share this journey with you that began some moons ago, a bit of my own prophecy manifesting here and now.  Tonight there are women gathering all over the world sharing their dark and their light, sharing and remembering that our tears and our breath are our medicine, our remedy, our power.

We gather together allowing us to be enveloped in Love.  There is nothing more for us to do.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Journal Entry April 20, 2010

I See it in My Dreams

 

I See it in my Dreams, oil painting by Lisa Starr 2008

 

My primal essence was unleashed

as the full moon rose

over the mountains.

I see the piece of me

I’ve been seeking to reclaim

AHHHrrrr…MMAAAaaaaa!!!!!

I cry out an agonizing shriek!

There “IT” is again

yucky vulnerability!

**inhale a breath of life, send “IT” into love**

Shattered

to pieces

small triangular

shards of glass

this “IT”

that which no longer desires to be within my field.

**inhale a breath of life send “IT” into love**

My primal essence

broke through the invisible

glass of illusion

**inhale a breath of life, send “IT” into love**

Bounds of limitation

freed by your embrace

safe and nurtured.

**inhale a breath of life  send “IT” into love**

We are perfectly encircled

as “Love”

envelops our beings.